With the Ending of January Comes the Beginning of "Metallica Moratorium"

[I suspect this will come as a great relief to my millions of readers who have had just about all they can handle of Metallica Madness.]

While my month-long obsession with heavy metal band Metallica has been fun (here, here and here), it's distracting me from the more quiet obsessions I would like to obsess about. So I'm going to (attempt to) limit the amount of time I spend either watching Metallica on youtube or listening to my 1 Metallica album (I'm contemplating buying a second Metallica album - go crazy - I'm not sure which one yet, probably Master of Puppets). AND I'm not going to mention Metallica anymore here on Effulgent13...unless it's something really important and/or interesting. But, before it all ends, here is a photo I really like of James Hetfield (on whom I seem to have developed a bit of a crush, despite not wanting to take him to a desert island with me):


and a photo of the lovely Kirk Hammett (whom I would take with me to a desert island), who is one of the few men in heavy metal who can get away with eyeliner:

Karamazov Count: Page 800

ONLY 92 MORE PAGES!!!

Praise the Lord (and I say that with all the faith of an atheist). The end is in sight. But I need to stay calm. I need to stay focused. I haven't yet reached the finish line. The Brothers Karamazov is a marathon read, not a sprint. These last 92 pages could well be the hardest. I may yet find myself plummeting into the depths of an even more terrifying literary hell than I did with 'The Grand Inquisitor'. I may yet need to draw upon the very last vestiges of my inner strength and endurance and dignity. I may yet find myself overusing expressions like: "I may yet".

But I'm psyched. I'm confident I can handle it. I've cleaned my glasses and I'm wearing comfortable pants. I'm ready for whatever Dostoyevsky throws at me.

Too Much Free Time

After watching quite a bit of footage of heavy metal band, Metallica, live on stage, I began to notice some things - interesting things (trust me). The band used the delightful expression "motherf**ker" quite a lot in their younger days (but then so did I, and possibly still do), the year of a performance can be determined by the state of James Hetfield's hair (both on his head and face) and by the number of his tattoos, Kirk Hammett doesn't appear to age. But the thing that really struck me was how movable they are on stage; they run all over the place, with their guitars (except for the drummer - although he certainly moves alot within (and without) the confines of his drum kit). So I started thinking: why don't their guitar cords get tangled? And then I realised, they don't have guitar cords. So how is the electrical guitar string vibration signal thingy reaching the amplifier? They must have some kind of transmission antenna setup somewhere, but where? Well, I did a little investigative investigating and I came across this photo of James Hetfield:



I suspect the "head-antenna" attachment is usually better camouflaged; this was the only photo I found in which it could be seen.

[Also, I offer no apologies to James Hetfield for rendering this photo of him adorable.]

Goal Setting: Don't Try This at Home

I'm wondering if there's any value in setting goals for the new year (and then attempting to achieve them, and then getting depressed when I don't achieve them). Probably not. I'm not a goal orientated kind of person. I'm fluffy. I'm a drifter. A wanderer...I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride, I'm wanted...dead or alive...(my apologies to Bon Jovi).

Don't get me wrong, I'm getting stuff done, stuff which I set out to get done. Hmmm, sounds a little like GOAL SETTING to me, just not on a grandiose scale. For example, every Monday I go to the supermarket with an ACTUAL list (ie written on a small piece of paper - my supermarket needs are not many) of items to purchase. 9.5 out of 10 times I will exit the supermarket having purchased ALL items on this list. Afterwards I feel very proud of my grocery buying accomplishments, and there's the added bonus that I have food to eat for the rest of the week. Hallelujah!

Still, the whole supermarket goal thing isn't doing much for my ego. Maybe I should try aiming a little higher, a little louder...I know...world domination! Hmmm, I'm sensing a little deja vu. Yes, last year I started making maniacal plans for world domination (actually world destruction*, which is a kind of domination) but I seem to have let them slip. I haven't worked on my plans since last March. The world remains undominated by moi. Bummer. Now I'm depressed. I set a goal for myself which I didn't achieve. See, goal setting is bad for your health (at least grandiose goal setting). My advice for anyone considering goal setting: AIM LOW.

Maybe I should consider partial world domination, just the southern hemisphere...



*I think it's pertinent to note that there seem to be many others effecting world destruction, even without my maniacal plans

The Atomic Symbol for Heavy Metal is...

...Metallica...

...which is a little difficult to squash onto the periodic table...



Yep, I'm still experiencing a latent obsession with heavy metal band Metallica. I've been re-watching the 2003 documentary Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (which I watched about 3 years ago). This time I watched all the bonus material, then watched the documentary, and THEN watched the documentary 2 more times with the audio commentaries from the band and the film makers (Bruce Sinofsky and Joe Berlinger). AND THEN, just when I thought it was all over, I turned on the television to see what was showing on "Hot Docs" and...(you'll never guess)...it was...Metallica: Some Kind of Monster!!! So I started watching it, again, but after about 20 minutes I'd had enough.

So now I'm trying to get hold of an earlier Metallica documentary: A Year and a Half in the Life of Metallica. It's about the making of their most commerically successful album, Metallica (also known as "The Black Album"), which was recorded in 1990-91. It's also the only Metallica album I have. Some heavy metal fans feel this album was the beginning of a move away from "true" heavy metal for Metallica. As I haven't listened to any of their other albums, and I'm not a heavy metal fan, I feel completely qualified to dive into this heated debate and say this: "uh, dude, I like the pretty electric sitar at the beginning of 'Wherever I May Roam', it's really heavy", to which my imaginary heavy metal fan replies: "you crazy fucking hippy!". But seriously, anyone who believes Metallica have lost their edge obviously hasn't seen this photo:




As I couldn't find the 1991 documentary in either of the 2 stores I went into, I'm attempting to watch it in 10 minute installments on youtube (it runs for 4 hours and I have dial-up internet connection - I may not make it to the end). But, in the meantime, while I'm waiting for my downloads, I've invented an absorbing mind-game. I've called it: Which Member of Metallica Would You Take With You to a Desert Island? (I'm only choosing from band members from 1987 onwards). I've listed all band members in order of least likely to most likely:


Lars Ulrich (Drums):


Get the fuuuuuucccccckkkkkkk outta here (anyone who has watched the 2003 documentary will understand this). I could probably take him in small doses but that might be difficult to obtain when we're trapped together on a desert island.


Jason Newsted (Bass Guitar):


I don't really have a feel for him as there wasn't much footage of him in the 2003 documentary - he left the band before filming had really started. Still, I've kind of warmed to him.


Robert Trujillo (Bass Guitar):


I had a similar problem with Robert as I had with Jason - not very much footage. Nevertheless, what I did see of him I found to be very groovy. I definitely warmed to him.


James Hetfield (Lead Vocalist, Rhythm Guitar):


Despite the whole sensitive-new-age-red-neck-bad-boy-alpha-male thing he has working for him, I don't think James and I would find harmonious togetherness on a desert island. I think we have fundamental differences in our approach to existence. For example, James would want to seek mastery over the island's flora and fauna, especially the fauna (probably by hunting and killing it) - whereas I'd want to befriend the fauna, and I would find tranquility in the beauty of the grains of sand ("Crazy fucking hippy!", is what James would say to me).


So, of course, that leaves only one band member to accompany myself to a desert island...the one, the only, the most beautiful...


Kirk Hammett (Lead Guitar):


Where do I begin? Well, firstly, I like his hair and his brown eyes and his lovely smile:) But it's more that these surface qualities that have drawn me to Kirk (after all, an attractive appearance will only get you so far when it's just the 2 of you and an island covered in sand and palm trees and coconuts and exotic wildlife and, quite possibly, pirates). He's seems to be an introvert, he's interested in the occult/horror, he lives in a house full of skulls and bones and books and dogs and cats, he's a tiny bit goofy, he's a vegetarian and he's not egotistical - a list of qualities that I would look for in a desert island companion.

You'll Have to Speak up...

...I'm listening to METALLICA!!!

LOUDLY!!!

Music can soothe even the most savage of beasts, except when that music is heavy metal. Heavy metal seeks instead to enrage the savage beast.

Hidden deep in the murky, cloistered recesses of my being, somewhere near my pancreas, is a savage beast. Mostly she lies dormant, happy to be still, to pass the days in serene meditation and bodily fluids. However, every now and again, she needs some air. But she's not easily shifted, it takes a powerful energy to release her from her visceral home and get her moving.

Music is a powerful energy; melody and harmony can heighten tepid emotions, energize and inspire. But melody and harmony alone are not enough to lift my savage beast (whom I've named Stella) from her inertial existence. For this, Stella requires an electrified onslaught of maximum voltage, reverberating through jarring steel, pumped into bands of distortion, and imbued with a primal scream!...

...Stella is awake now...

...and she's hungry...

...and enraged...

...but first she needs a cup of tea and probably a chocolate wheaten biscuit...

...then she'll go out hunting...

...for the Sandman...

...the very same from Enter Sandman by Metallica. And the ever reliable youtube has some awesome Metallica footage, including that which I've embedded below (from the Monsters of Rock concert in Moscow, 1991):

[Things to note in video: helicopters, Red Army, flags, band members hair (why do heavy metal musicians always have curly hair?), unrestrained masculinity.]

[Also, I don't know what the music is at the beginning but it's pretty groovy.]

[Also, also...it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet and in your HEAD!!!]



Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep If I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take...


[Update (11th Jan 2010): I now have exciting new knowledge regarding the music at the beginning of the Metallica clip. It is called "The Ecstasy of Gold" by Ennio Morricone, a part of his score for the film "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly". The piece has been used by Metallica since 1983 as introductory music to their concerts. I also have exciting new knowledge regarding the helicopters in the clip. The concert took place at an airfield! Those guys will play anywhere.]

Prayer of St. Francis

Clearly things have gotten pretty dire if I'm resorting to prayer!

It's OK, I'm not really praying. I just like the sentiment of this group of words, written by St. Francis of Assisi, which many would label a prayer. I'm quite atheist-like in my "beliefs". (I could probably just say I'm an atheist but I don't like to give myself labels, other than "Effulgent13" or "Nicole" - although, technically, my parents gave me the label "Nicole", the crazy hippies).

And the prayer doesn't even have to be a prayer if you just take out "Lord", "O divine master" and "Amen", or ascribe to them different meanings, eg "divine master" could refer to my as yet unaccessed inner strength, divine as it is. Here are the words:

Lord make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
And where there is sadness, joy.

O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive-
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
And it's in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen

The lovely Sarah McLachlan put The Prayer of St. Francis to music. It was used as backing music during the final moments of season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (a very dramatic and difficult season, which only the strongest of Buffy fans were able to endure). I searched on YouTube for this scene, with the music, but couldn't find it. There were other videos posted featuring the song, however they mostly featured religious imagery and/or were not sung by Sarah McLachlan (which I wasn't too keen on). So, sadly, I cannot provide a link to the actual song.