The Atomic Symbol for Heavy Metal is...

...Metallica...

...which is a little difficult to squash onto the periodic table...



Yep, I'm still experiencing a latent obsession with heavy metal band Metallica. I've been re-watching the 2003 documentary Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (which I watched about 3 years ago). This time I watched all the bonus material, then watched the documentary, and THEN watched the documentary 2 more times with the audio commentaries from the band and the film makers (Bruce Sinofsky and Joe Berlinger). AND THEN, just when I thought it was all over, I turned on the television to see what was showing on "Hot Docs" and...(you'll never guess)...it was...Metallica: Some Kind of Monster!!! So I started watching it, again, but after about 20 minutes I'd had enough.

So now I'm trying to get hold of an earlier Metallica documentary: A Year and a Half in the Life of Metallica. It's about the making of their most commerically successful album, Metallica (also known as "The Black Album"), which was recorded in 1990-91. It's also the only Metallica album I have. Some heavy metal fans feel this album was the beginning of a move away from "true" heavy metal for Metallica. As I haven't listened to any of their other albums, and I'm not a heavy metal fan, I feel completely qualified to dive into this heated debate and say this: "uh, dude, I like the pretty electric sitar at the beginning of 'Wherever I May Roam', it's really heavy", to which my imaginary heavy metal fan replies: "you crazy fucking hippy!". But seriously, anyone who believes Metallica have lost their edge obviously hasn't seen this photo:




As I couldn't find the 1991 documentary in either of the 2 stores I went into, I'm attempting to watch it in 10 minute installments on youtube (it runs for 4 hours and I have dial-up internet connection - I may not make it to the end). But, in the meantime, while I'm waiting for my downloads, I've invented an absorbing mind-game. I've called it: Which Member of Metallica Would You Take With You to a Desert Island? (I'm only choosing from band members from 1987 onwards). I've listed all band members in order of least likely to most likely:


Lars Ulrich (Drums):


Get the fuuuuuucccccckkkkkkk outta here (anyone who has watched the 2003 documentary will understand this). I could probably take him in small doses but that might be difficult to obtain when we're trapped together on a desert island.


Jason Newsted (Bass Guitar):


I don't really have a feel for him as there wasn't much footage of him in the 2003 documentary - he left the band before filming had really started. Still, I've kind of warmed to him.


Robert Trujillo (Bass Guitar):


I had a similar problem with Robert as I had with Jason - not very much footage. Nevertheless, what I did see of him I found to be very groovy. I definitely warmed to him.


James Hetfield (Lead Vocalist, Rhythm Guitar):


Despite the whole sensitive-new-age-red-neck-bad-boy-alpha-male thing he has working for him, I don't think James and I would find harmonious togetherness on a desert island. I think we have fundamental differences in our approach to existence. For example, James would want to seek mastery over the island's flora and fauna, especially the fauna (probably by hunting and killing it) - whereas I'd want to befriend the fauna, and I would find tranquility in the beauty of the grains of sand ("Crazy fucking hippy!", is what James would say to me).


So, of course, that leaves only one band member to accompany myself to a desert island...the one, the only, the most beautiful...


Kirk Hammett (Lead Guitar):


Where do I begin? Well, firstly, I like his hair and his brown eyes and his lovely smile:) But it's more that these surface qualities that have drawn me to Kirk (after all, an attractive appearance will only get you so far when it's just the 2 of you and an island covered in sand and palm trees and coconuts and exotic wildlife and, quite possibly, pirates). He's seems to be an introvert, he's interested in the occult/horror, he lives in a house full of skulls and bones and books and dogs and cats, he's a tiny bit goofy, he's a vegetarian and he's not egotistical - a list of qualities that I would look for in a desert island companion.