A Perfect Organism (Alien:Isolation)

 When you sneak up behind a Xenomorph and try to pull her tail:

On the 1 Year Anniversary of Willow's Final Purr

It's been a year since my lovely Ms Willow Pussycat left this mortal coil and transformed into a spirit-feline (the true and most powerful form of kitty kats). I'm still finding fur and cat claws in my/our abode and, occasionally, I can hear a faint meow. So it is clear to me that Ms Willow is still lingering, which is comforting.

I will likely get another earth-bound cat one day, but for the moment I'm content just to have spirit-Willow. I can't take anymore photos of Ms Willow but that won't stop me uploading existing photos:

Things of Pink and Zebra

 (This "collection" brought to you by the "artist's" inane obsession with pink and zebra)

 

Vale Ms Willow Pussycat

1st December 1998 - 21st July 2020

(21 years 8 months)

You have been my furry buddy for the past twenty and a half years. It has been the most biggest joy to be your companion animal and your servant.You have brought me much comfort and solace over the years; during the ordinariness of each passing day and especially during my times of existential crises.

It was a privilege to be a crazy cat lady with you.

Rest in peace, my beautiful.

The Secret to Cat Longevity is The Cat-Heater Hybrid

As the middle of winter approaches, the necessity for a winter-themed photo increases. Thankfully, I have just such a photo handy.
Here is my cat, Ms Willow Pussycat, managing to not burn herself whilst trying to fuse with the heater:

Willow is 20.5 years old and refuses to die. She is a lovely housemate (I've had her for 19.5 years), though in recent times, she has taken to peeing in the corridor instead of in the litter tray - so I've had to line the corridor with garbage bags. Still, she seems mostly happy and reasonably healthy, and occasionally she will pee in the litter tray. I appreciate that this is not ideal and that once a cat starts not using the litter tray properly, it might be time for kitty to go to cat-heaven. However, I don't think she's actually incontinent, I suspect that her older bones find the litter tray a bit cramped so she prefers to go in the corridor (thankfully, she hasn't chosen to prefer the kitchen or my bed). I'm not sure I'm okay with sending her to the afterlife for the crime of wrongly placed pee (unless she starts peeing on me, then we're going to have a problem - only I'm allowed to pee on me).

Merry Christmas from Richard Nixon

Here is a (ye olde) Christmas card given (with love) to members of the press gallery in Washington DC from President Nixon (and his missus):

A reminder of a time when American Presidents still had respect for journalists...even diligent, investigative journalists who bring about their downfall.

"I'm Not Your Mary"

[This post was going to be some photos of Pyramid Head, James and Maria but it seems to have morphed into a (highly intellectual) dissertation of Silent Hill 2]

In the 2001 psychological horror video game, Silent Hill 2, gamers were introduced to the enigmatic creature named Pyramid Head. His name is somewhat self explanatory:

Pyramid Head has become something of an icon among horror gamers of Earth. Much wordage has been devoted to the deconstruction of "that red triangle thing" and especially to exploring his connection to the tormented psyche of the protagonist of the game, James Sunderland. Here is James, displaying his tormented psyche:

Many analyzes see Pyramid Head (as well as most of the monsters, certainly the 'bubble-head' nurses and 'legs' mannequins) as representing James' unsatisfied sexual desires and the resulting frustration he feels. The reason for his sexual unfulfillment being that he hasn't been getting any lovin' as his wife had been very sick and he wouldn't be unfaithful to her, and even after she died - apparently 3 years earlier - he hasn't been able to move on. Pyramid Head's seminal (albeit without any semen or, indeed, a penis) first cutscene appearance has certainly influenced this theory:

This scene is often referred to as the "Pyramid Head Rape Scene", though I question if 'rape' is the correct descriptor. If this scene does depict rape (or a representation of rape), does this imply that James has raped? Or contemplated or fantasized about rape? Given that the received wisdom - and specifically, James' statement before his final battle with Pyramid Head - is that Pyramid Head exists to punish James (for his weakness and transgressions), then it would be reasonable to link Pyramid Head's actions in this scene directly to James. But it may not be explicitly about rape.

The "rape" that's being witnessed in the cutscene may be more akin to a weird, and unsettling, sex dream. Are Pyramid Head's motions/gyrations during the scene actually violent or are they somewhat rough or 'violently' passionate or overtly dominating???? The distorted moaning noises heard during the scene evoke a sexual context, with a suggestion of pain - maybe James associates sex or sexual intimacy with pain (physical and/or emotional). But if this scene is sexual, it's not clear to me if the mannequins are consenting or not; Pyramid Head grabs their legs, which are flailing around, but that doesn't inherently mean that the mannequin's legs are pushing him away; maybe they're just kicking around with reckless abandon, without a specific purpose. When the scene ends, the mannequins are motionless on the ground; seemingly they are now dead. Did Pyramid Head rape them to death or (consensually) shag them to death? Either conclusion is pretty messed up. But are the mannequins even dead? The mannequins don't attack James once Pyramid Head is finished with them but I don't know if this is proof that they are dead, maybe they just lie on the floor once James/Pyramid Head has finished his crazy sex dream.

A subsequent cutscene involving Pyramid Head and another monster (officially known as a Lying Figure, though I call it a Puker) is further amped up, with the moaning noises sounding extremely orgasm and pain but with more ambiguity - to me at least - as to what the hell Pyramid Head is doing:

I think that a definitive interpretation of Pyramid Head in these scenes is not entirely possible and any analysis is greatly reliant on the subjectivity of the analyzer. But in terms of James' response - in both cutscenes, upon witnessing Pyramid Head's actions, James is visibly distressed and attempts to flee the situation - it is clear that the part of James' psyche from which these scenes have been extracted and distorted is very frightening to James and he would prefer to run away, or hide in a closet:

Then there is The Maroon Menace, or as she is actually named, Maria. James keeps mistaking Maria for his dead wife (named Mary). It happens, we've all been there. Maria looks like Mary, sounds like Mary, but in James' mind, she couldn't possibly be Mary because Mary behaved and dressed like a nun, whereas Maria is a total skank. And, for good measure, Maria is a dancer (though not a reggae skank dancer) at Heaven's Night, Silent Hill's very own nudie bar. Here is Maria, explaining to James that she's not his Mary:

The whole Mary/Maria thing is a bit too virgin/whore, in my opinion. I would prefer that a doppelganger of my dead spouse (if I had one, either dead or alive) be more nuanced (though I wouldn't mind him being sexually available to me whenever I wanted! as Maria seems to be implying she is to James). Maria is another manifestation of James' (somewhat sex-obsessed) psyche but she also exists to punish him. [Spoiler Alert: It is eventually revealed that James actually smothered his Mary with a pillow after years of watching her deteriorate, both physically and mentally, and being subjected to verbal vitriol from her]. Many releases of Silent Hill 2 contain a sub-game titled Born From a Wish, where the protagonist is Maria. Maria has been created purely for James to interact with, and her manifesto is to be totally for James. Here she is, following James around with total devotion (and possibly checking out his butt):

Of course, such single minded devotion to another is not healthy and it takes a toll on both James and Maria. James (and when I say 'James', I mean me when I'm playing as James) starts to get a little creeped out by Maria's over familiarity with him and unnerved by her constant hovering. Maria, meanwhile, is doing what James' psyche created her to do, ie clinging to him, yet he keeps pushing her away and mistaking her for Mary. Fuck you, James! What a cunt. Don't you realize Maria is the embodiment of "Be careful what you wish for"? Maria, quite understandably, starts to lose her shit at this impossible and unfair situation and lashes out at James:

And lashing out at James is exactly what Mary used to do, though presumably only when she was dying and she was angry about dying and maybe the disease physically affected her brain (I'm not completely clear on this last point). James became torn between loving Mary and resenting, even hating, her. As James' journey through Silent Hill draws to an end, and after dodging or killing or maiming many manic monster manifestations (!), James eventually finds a video tape which reveals to him that he killed Mary (up until this point in the game he had been in a disassociated state believing Mary had died from her illness, three years earlier). It is also worth noting that at various points during the game, Pyramid Head 'kills' Maria (Maria keeps reappearing, though, 'cos Fuck You, James!), hinting to James the ultimate shocking truth. James, quite understandably, freaks out after finding out how Mary really died:

James finally has a conversation/confrontation/battle with a Silent Hill version of either Maria or Mary (depending on the player's actions during the game), which is then followed by one of three possible endings (on a first play through): Leave, Maria, In Water.

Leave sees James accepting what happened and moving on with his life and away from Silent Hill.

In the Maria ending, James decides he wants to be with Maria (I take this to mean he'll be continuing to live in some kind of delusional state of mind) and the two of them appear to be walking away from Silent Hill when Maria starts coughing, just as Mary had at the beginning of her illness. I had initially felt this to be a creepy ending, but upon reflection, I decided it could act as a form of therapy for James, still in a very fractured state, whereby he explores his demons with Maria, maybe eventually overcoming them and moving on. It could form the beginning of a healing process, though it could also send him insane.

For the In Water ending, James takes a wild, and presumably suicidal, ride, driving his car into Toluca Lake to 'be with Mary' (a commonly held belief among Silent Hill 2 enthusiasts is that Mary's body is in the back seat of James' car - so, by driving the car into the lake, with Mary's body in the car, he can be with her both on earth and in the afterlife...unless they're not going to the same place...).

Silent Hill 2 is a very narrative driven game (maybe 'game' isn't quite the right word...perhaps 'experience' is more apt). It poses some tough moral questions and has provoked much discussion and theorizing about James' actions, the imagery and noise of the monsters and of the environment, and the themes the game explores. Its underlying story is very real and very human. James' real world ordeal and trauma is not outlandish fiction. Near the end of the game the player is shown a note from Mary which states that despite James' apparent surly demeanour, he is actually very sweet. I suspect this is true. I imagine that James, being a man, especially a young man, would have been subject to notions of tough guy masculinity, and so could likely have believed that he was expected to cope with whatever the world threw at him and not admit his distress or pain or seek help or counsel. And even if he did admit that he wasn't coping and tried to seek help, where would he go for help? I wonder if James had been older, with a bit more life wisdom, he might have found the reserves to endure his "long three years" (it is revealed, in the 'Maria' ending, that Mary was actually sick for three years), but if he had endured, then we wouldn't have this beautifully disturbing image:

🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻


Special End Note: For a maximum high level psychological horror experience, Silent Hill 2 should be played on a pink PlayStation 2 console (with bonus pink memory card):

When You Turn 50, Stranger Things Will Happen

Barely a month ago, my chronological age became 50. I was coping with this (somewhat confronting) reality reasonably well, until a series of alarming occurrences occurred:

Puzzling Talk to Text message:
"My name is Jim Taylor and I wanted to inquire about doing some cut and paste work in the Nile River. Thank you. Bye."

Toys on the clothesline:

Government poo collection:
(aka: National Bowel Cancer Screening Program)
First the government wanted to collect our metadata, now they want to collect our poo! (Surely the last vestige of privacy is a person's bodily waste).

Of course, these things could simply be coincidences; co-relation rather than causation (ie turning 50 didn't trigger the weird, the weird just sometimes happens). And, so far, there have been 3 occurrences, and superstitious wisdom dictates that happenings happen in threes. So, it may be that my apparent 50th birthday 'stranger things' has finished and was merely a whimsical randomness of the universe. I guess only time will tell, but in the meantime, I will be keeping myself alert in case there are more oddities.

As You Wish, My Master.

Last night Ms Willow Pussycat jumped on top of the answering machine and erased the greeting message. I was surprised, as I had thought she was okay with the message, given that I'd included her in the message and put her name before my name, ie:

"You've reached WILLOW...and Nicole's answering machine. Please leave a message."

I now realize my unforgivable, and extremely egregious, foolishness. I have re-recorded a new message, one which better reflects the truth:

"You have reached the answering machine of the great and powerful WILLOW...and her imbecile servant, Nicole. Do not deign to leave a message unless you are someone of immense significance. Now leave me to my nap."

DVD/Video Games Rack as Christmas Tree

(Though, technically, it's actually a Baker's Rack)
(Whatever it is, it's gone a bit Yuletide)

The Path to Serenity is Paved With Rectangular Vessels

There are few things that bring me as much existential joy as having my tights/leggings/stockings drawer completely full:

Meanwhile, Ms Willow finds inner peace sleeping in my documents container (who knew envelopes could be so comfy):

Willow vs The Computer

"How does this infernal contraption work? Perhaps if I just keep staring at it, the cat videos will appear."

And The Mark of The Library Catalogue Code Shall Be Upon Her Forehead

The librarians from my local library have been very cunning in their placement of the item catalogue code on this dvd:

And it's very fitting, given that the markings are on the forehead of the governess from Henry James' The Turn of The Screw; a character who is either subject to an evil haunting or is suffering from evil insanity (there are probably other interpretations but these are the two most common/obvious ones).

NB: Of course, there aren't many other options for placing the item code, as most of the dvd is dark. Perhaps across the children (who are wearing light coloured clothing) or across the governess' face (though this seems a little disrespectful, even if she may be a bit of a psychopath).

Along Came a Spider..

..and sat down beside the computer, almost.

Playing Spider Solitaire whilst being watched by actual spider (very meta):

This Very Important Blog Post was inspired by many, many hours spent playing Spider Solitaire, as well as by many, many hours spent not doing anything of 'substance'. It also owes a deep and enduring gratitude to the countless Daddy-Long-Legs spiders currently residing in my home who have worked - and continue to work - tirelessly crawling all over the place, into every nook and cranny, and not (so far) ending up in adverse locations, such as my cup of tea or my pyjamas.

Haunted Rocking Chair

After a lifetime (so far) of viewing horror movies and reading horror stories, I have come to believe that rocking chairs have an inherent metaphysical tendency. As such, rocking chairs are extremely susceptible to being both possessed, and sat upon, by ghostly entities and other spectral beings.

I think there are 3 main reasons rocking chairs lend themselves to such eerie paranormality:
1. They have a propensity to rock unaided
2. They have a ye olde aura
3. They were invented by demons (not verified)

Given all this, it would seem a reasonable thing for a person who didn't want to be haunted to not keep a rocking chair in her home. Not me! Behold my rocking chair (with spooky apparition sitting upon it):

Mostly my rocking chair is quite dormant and will only rock when an obvious force is acting upon it, e.g. my sitting on it. But lately, and after having watched quite a few spooky movies and TV shows in the last couple of months, it appears to me that my rocking chair may, in fact, be sentient. Sometimes, when my back is turned, I can sense that the chair is rocking - or even creeping towards me - but when I look over my shoulder, it is still and in its original position. So I cannot be positive that my rocking chair is actually haunted, unless the chair does something overtly supernatural or I get a psychic to come over and evaluate the chair.

In situations as dire as this, I feel it is best to err on the side of caution. Hence, I have decided to assume that my rocking chair is, indeed, haunted, and so I have taken necessary action to prevent the occurrence of any otherworldly rocking chair shenanigans:

I've Gone MAD with Christmas Festivity!

For so many years, I've steadfastly abhorred Christmas and its requisite, sadistic spirit of celebration. From the beginning of December until Boxing Day, I would be a seething mass of humbug. Christmas Day would often find me blind drunk before breakfast - having gotten up extra early to make sure I imbibed as much "Christmas Cheer" as possible, in order to get me through the Yuletide Terror. So it came as quite a shock to my person (aka me) to discover this in my lounge room:

Someone (aka me) decorated the wall heater in a frenzy of tinsel (turning off the pilot light first, for safety) and put cheerily wrapped presents underneath/in front of it. And look at all those Christmas cards.

Feliz Fucking Navidad!

Willow in Red

Not to be confused with the Lady in Red (the one dancing cheek-to-cheek with the highlights in her hair that catch her eyes...not that the highlights in Willow's fur don't also catch her eyes):

Up close:

Willow prefers to be naked rather than wearing constrictive clothing (of any colour), and she finds dancing to be undignified, especially when it's cheek-to-cheek, which is a little unhygienic.

Special blog post note: Most of this blog entry only makes sense if one has both listened to, and been creeped out by, the song Lady in Red by Chris de Burgh. However, in defence of Chris de Burgh, his other song, Don't Pay the Ferryman (don't even fix a price...until he gets you to the other side!...aaah aaaah, ah aaaaah...), is awesome.

PS: Yes, I know Chris de Burgh has more than 2 songs, but since I don't know any of his other songs, they don't count.

Operation Sneaky Gardening Has Been Successful!

Mission: To get front tenant to park her car fully into her car parking space such that the back of her car doesn't protrude into the driveway and thus reduce or obstruct my ability to get my car into and out of the driveway.

This task needed to be achieved without recourse to speaking to front tenant as front tenant is stark raving bonkers (ProTip: sleeping in is not a sufficient reason for not moving your car when you have parked in behind me). So, not wanting to ever have to interact again with front tenant as long as we both shall live, but needing to get her to move her car approximately half a foot further into her parking space, I was faced with a somewhat dastardly dilemma. One option was to put a note into her mailbox politely explaining the car protrusion issue, but if this note happened to catch her on a bad day, it might provoke her into yelling (again) at me through my door (previous yelling was because I wouldn't let her park behind me in the driveway). Another option was to reverse wildly out of the driveway and bang my car into her car and maybe she'd take the hint - I'm not so concerned about damage to my car, which is 25 years old and starting to rust, whereas she seems to be proud of her much newer, unmarked, car. But, of course, this ran the very high risk of inciting her into a not yet seen manic (and possibly violent) manifestation of her potty person persona.

It eventually became clear to me that this problem was going to require an 'outside the box' solution. Firstly, I needed to get into the mindset of front tenant to try to ascertain what was motivating her to not drive HALF A FUCKING FOOT further into her parking spot. And, secondly, if I were able to 'know thy enemy', what tools did I have at my disposal to achieve a solution.

Upon closer inspection of front tenant's parking spot I noticed something pertinent, even shocking; there was quite a bit of vegetation growing wildly into the parking space. Perhaps front tenant was averse to parking her car on top of plant. Perhaps front tenant actually had a sensible reason for (yet another) obstruction of the driveway. Well, this seemed like a demon I could battle (and win) because, as it turns out, I have gardening tools (and the permission of the Landlord - actually the Landlord's wife - to do gardening). I could clear away the vegetation, and maybe this would coax front tenant's car further into the parking space.

And so Operation Sneaky Gardening was conceived. And a frenzy of gardening did ensue. I gardened my heart out (and, naturally, also put my back out) until that parking spot was bereft of plant. Observe the before and after photos:

the before:

and after:

It's like the parking spot has had an extreme makeover!
Here is a photo of the entire parking spot, showing its full splendour:

Here is a photo of my cat in a window ledge, showing her full splendour (possibly not entirely relevant):

So, after much toiling and lower back turmoil, I went inside and waited for front tenant to come home and park her car (my life is quite the adventure). And park her car she did: ALL THE WAY into the parking spot. Hurrah! And what makes this tale of driveway de-obstruction and wayward flora tamed even more wonderful, is that front tenant doesn't know it was me who cleared her parking spot - presumably she thinks it was the actual gardener - hah!

[Note: Due to frequency of blog posts dealing with front tenant induced driveway dramas, I have created a new Label: Driveway Drama (front tenant)].

TARDIS as TEAPOT

The TARDIS (as seen in Dr Who) possesses many extraordinary capabilities - time travel, space travel, sentience, telepathy, babel fish like language translation, wacky dimensional manipulations and distortions. But one of its lesser known (though tremendously important) capabilities, is its capacity to manifest as a teapot:

I wonder if the TARDIS teapot brews vastly greater quantities of tea than its exterior size would suggest.

A strange, feline induced, time-space-teapot-TARDIS paradox occurred:

Contemplative Kitty Lounging on Wooden Chair

Due to the rampant (and entirely justified) popularity of black and white photos of cats (start here, also here), this blog finds it necessary to include such a photo (see below). Note the masterful use of sunlight and shadow and chair (and cat). The unused power socket symbolizes disconnection.

[Model: Ms Willow]