A Perfect Organism (Alien:Isolation)

 When you sneak up behind a Xenomorph and try to pull her tail:

Infrequent Blogging May - or May Not - Continue/Adieu, 2020

Only a foolish, foolhardy fool would even attempt to predict the possible future frequency of blogging on this here Effulgent13 Blog. Clearly, Effulgent13 blogging has waned somewhat in recent times, and especially for the duration of this year. But, the blogging may yet continue (Lord Be Praised), for better or worse, and even without the help of New Year's Eve wine (which I may have started drinking a little early - and, yes, this blog is being written with the aid of a few wines). And I make no apologies for this - this year of 2020 is one which, very much so, necessitates the early drinking of New Year's Eve wine.

Of course, one does not have to blog whilst early NYE's wine drinking. But one can, and I am. And I'm feeling that I have neglected this blog of late; so if I can get one last, hopefully not too incoherent, but wildly meaningless, blog post written before the end of this year, then all is not lost.

So, since this is the final day of this year - the year of 2020 (Annus Covidus) - let me farewell thee; with grace, with compassion, with hope.

 

Dear 2020,

You were my final year with my beautiful pussycat Willow;

You gave us hard lockdowns - allowing me to justify excessive video game playing and excessive introversion;

You gave some succour to the flora and fauna (though not always to the humans) of earth;

You brought back long phone conversations (very Gen X);

You engendered face mask wearing - causing humans to realize how much we communicate with each other with just our faces(!);

You allowed the humans of earth to gain some understanding of the fragility of our existence (and, hopefully, to become more wisdomed because of this).

In The Time of Covid-19

When you get home after shopping for essential items (still no toilet paper - what the hell, Australia!) and greet fellow house occupiers (human or otherwise) with a smile and a wave and a 1.5 metre distance and you thoroughly wash your hands (with an extra chorus of "Happy Birthday", just to be sure) and then you can FINALLY touch that spot on your face that's been needing to be touched for the last 4 hours,

Walking through sparsely peopled shopping centres and worrying (or hoping) that you've been transported into classic zombie horror film Dawn of the Dead,

Being a high level introvert and not noticing too much difference between social isolation and normal life,

Being an introvert and feeling sympathy for extrovert humans who are more likely to struggle without the in-the-flesh social contact lifestyle - the internet is invaluable during this crisis but it's not a total replacement for 'actual' human contact, even for introverts,

Experiencing alarm that people are being told to wash hands after going to the bathroom - WASN'T THIS ALREADY HAPPENING?!?!,

Not feeling guilty for spending so much time playing video games - surely, in this extended time of having to stay home, passing copious hours lost in the worlds of Resident Evil or Tomb Raider is justified,

Wishing journalists and politicians would consult a thesaurus and find alternative words for 'unprecedented',

For example: extraordinary/unparalleled/unimaginable/freakish/novel/unique/holy guacamole,

Admitting that 'unprecedented' is probably the best adjective to describe this global pandemic.

"I'm Not Your Mary"

[This post was going to be some photos of Pyramid Head, James and Maria but it seems to have morphed into a (highly intellectual) dissertation of Silent Hill 2]

In the 2001 psychological horror video game, Silent Hill 2, gamers were introduced to the enigmatic creature named Pyramid Head. His name is somewhat self explanatory:

Pyramid Head has become something of an icon among horror gamers of Earth. Much wordage has been devoted to the deconstruction of "that red triangle thing" and especially to exploring his connection to the tormented psyche of the protagonist of the game, James Sunderland. Here is James, displaying his tormented psyche:

Many analyzes see Pyramid Head (as well as most of the monsters, certainly the 'bubble-head' nurses and 'legs' mannequins) as representing James' unsatisfied sexual desires and the resulting frustration he feels. The reason for his sexual unfulfillment being that he hasn't been getting any lovin' as his wife had been very sick and he wouldn't be unfaithful to her, and even after she died - apparently 3 years earlier - he hasn't been able to move on. Pyramid Head's seminal (albeit without any semen or, indeed, a penis) first cutscene appearance has certainly influenced this theory:

This scene is often referred to as the "Pyramid Head Rape Scene", though I question if 'rape' is the correct descriptor. If this scene does depict rape (or a representation of rape), does this imply that James has raped? Or contemplated or fantasized about rape? Given that the received wisdom - and specifically, James' statement before his final battle with Pyramid Head - is that Pyramid Head exists to punish James (for his weakness and transgressions), then it would be reasonable to link Pyramid Head's actions in this scene directly to James. But it may not be explicitly about rape.

The "rape" that's being witnessed in the cutscene may be more akin to a weird, and unsettling, sex dream. Are Pyramid Head's motions/gyrations during the scene actually violent or are they somewhat rough or 'violently' passionate or overtly dominating???? The distorted moaning noises heard during the scene evoke a sexual context, with a suggestion of pain - maybe James associates sex or sexual intimacy with pain (physical and/or emotional). But if this scene is sexual, it's not clear to me if the mannequins are consenting or not; Pyramid Head grabs their legs, which are flailing around, but that doesn't inherently mean that the mannequin's legs are pushing him away; maybe they're just kicking around with reckless abandon, without a specific purpose. When the scene ends, the mannequins are motionless on the ground; seemingly they are now dead. Did Pyramid Head rape them to death or (consensually) shag them to death? Either conclusion is pretty messed up. But are the mannequins even dead? The mannequins don't attack James once Pyramid Head is finished with them but I don't know if this is proof that they are dead, maybe they just lie on the floor once James/Pyramid Head has finished his crazy sex dream.

A subsequent cutscene involving Pyramid Head and another monster (officially known as a Lying Figure, though I call it a Puker) is further amped up, with the moaning noises sounding extremely orgasm and pain but with more ambiguity - to me at least - as to what the hell Pyramid Head is doing:

I think that a definitive interpretation of Pyramid Head in these scenes is not entirely possible and any analysis is greatly reliant on the subjectivity of the analyzer. But in terms of James' response - in both cutscenes, upon witnessing Pyramid Head's actions, James is visibly distressed and attempts to flee the situation - it is clear that the part of James' psyche from which these scenes have been extracted and distorted is very frightening to James and he would prefer to run away, or hide in a closet:

Then there is The Maroon Menace, or as she is actually named, Maria. James keeps mistaking Maria for his dead wife (named Mary). It happens, we've all been there. Maria looks like Mary, sounds like Mary, but in James' mind, she couldn't possibly be Mary because Mary behaved and dressed like a nun, whereas Maria is a total skank. And, for good measure, Maria is a dancer (though not a reggae skank dancer) at Heaven's Night, Silent Hill's very own nudie bar. Here is Maria, explaining to James that she's not his Mary:

The whole Mary/Maria thing is a bit too virgin/whore, in my opinion. I would prefer that a doppelganger of my dead spouse (if I had one, either dead or alive) be more nuanced (though I wouldn't mind him being sexually available to me whenever I wanted! as Maria seems to be implying she is to James). Maria is another manifestation of James' (somewhat sex-obsessed) psyche but she also exists to punish him. [Spoiler Alert: It is eventually revealed that James actually smothered his Mary with a pillow after years of watching her deteriorate, both physically and mentally, and being subjected to verbal vitriol from her]. Many releases of Silent Hill 2 contain a sub-game titled Born From a Wish, where the protagonist is Maria. Maria has been created purely for James to interact with, and her manifesto is to be totally for James. Here she is, following James around with total devotion (and possibly checking out his butt):

Of course, such single minded devotion to another is not healthy and it takes a toll on both James and Maria. James (and when I say 'James', I mean me when I'm playing as James) starts to get a little creeped out by Maria's over familiarity with him and unnerved by her constant hovering. Maria, meanwhile, is doing what James' psyche created her to do, ie clinging to him, yet he keeps pushing her away and mistaking her for Mary. Fuck you, James! What a cunt. Don't you realize Maria is the embodiment of "Be careful what you wish for"? Maria, quite understandably, starts to lose her shit at this impossible and unfair situation and lashes out at James:

And lashing out at James is exactly what Mary used to do, though presumably only when she was dying and she was angry about dying and maybe the disease physically affected her brain (I'm not completely clear on this last point). James became torn between loving Mary and resenting, even hating, her. As James' journey through Silent Hill draws to an end, and after dodging or killing or maiming many manic monster manifestations (!), James eventually finds a video tape which reveals to him that he killed Mary (up until this point in the game he had been in a disassociated state believing Mary had died from her illness, three years earlier). It is also worth noting that at various points during the game, Pyramid Head 'kills' Maria (Maria keeps reappearing, though, 'cos Fuck You, James!), hinting to James the ultimate shocking truth. James, quite understandably, freaks out after finding out how Mary really died:

James finally has a conversation/confrontation/battle with a Silent Hill version of either Maria or Mary (depending on the player's actions during the game), which is then followed by one of three possible endings (on a first play through): Leave, Maria, In Water.

Leave sees James accepting what happened and moving on with his life and away from Silent Hill.

In the Maria ending, James decides he wants to be with Maria (I take this to mean he'll be continuing to live in some kind of delusional state of mind) and the two of them appear to be walking away from Silent Hill when Maria starts coughing, just as Mary had at the beginning of her illness. I had initially felt this to be a creepy ending, but upon reflection, I decided it could act as a form of therapy for James, still in a very fractured state, whereby he explores his demons with Maria, maybe eventually overcoming them and moving on. It could form the beginning of a healing process, though it could also send him insane.

For the In Water ending, James takes a wild, and presumably suicidal, ride, driving his car into Toluca Lake to 'be with Mary' (a commonly held belief among Silent Hill 2 enthusiasts is that Mary's body is in the back seat of James' car - so, by driving the car into the lake, with Mary's body in the car, he can be with her both on earth and in the afterlife...unless they're not going to the same place...).

Silent Hill 2 is a very narrative driven game (maybe 'game' isn't quite the right word...perhaps 'experience' is more apt). It poses some tough moral questions and has provoked much discussion and theorizing about James' actions, the imagery and noise of the monsters and of the environment, and the themes the game explores. Its underlying story is very real and very human. James' real world ordeal and trauma is not outlandish fiction. Near the end of the game the player is shown a note from Mary which states that despite James' apparent surly demeanour, he is actually very sweet. I suspect this is true. I imagine that James, being a man, especially a young man, would have been subject to notions of tough guy masculinity, and so could likely have believed that he was expected to cope with whatever the world threw at him and not admit his distress or pain or seek help or counsel. And even if he did admit that he wasn't coping and tried to seek help, where would he go for help? I wonder if James had been older, with a bit more life wisdom, he might have found the reserves to endure his "long three years" (it is revealed, in the 'Maria' ending, that Mary was actually sick for three years), but if he had endured, then we wouldn't have this beautifully disturbing image:

🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻


Special End Note: For a maximum high level psychological horror experience, Silent Hill 2 should be played on a pink PlayStation 2 console (with bonus pink memory card):

The Hideous Tentacled Slime Beast

A recent, and mercifully short-lived, bout of existential loneliness seems to have been effectively curtailed. The soothing salves included port, marshmallows, tea, video games (Tomb Raider 3 and Silent Hill), sleep (replete with freaky dreams), and watching Slow TV (The Ghan: Australia's Greatest Train Journey).

Obviously, being afflicted with the malaise known as 'the human condition' - a condition which affects an overwhelming number of people - means that there is always the threat of existential loneliness (aka The Hideous Tentacled Slime Beast) brewing somewhere below the nebulous place known as 'the surface'. However, I find that as the years move inextricably by, and the sands of time slowly swallow and digest me (with their gritty grains that frequently get caught in painful and hard to reach places), it becomes easier to subdue (and, possibly, vanquish) The Hideous Tentacled Slime Beast.

Not that The Hideous Tentacled Slime Beast serves no purpose, and thus needs to be entirely obliterated from the human world. The presence of The Hideous Beast in the human psyche, with its seeping slime and its terrifying tentacles, seems to provide some kind of motivation; though the configurations this motivation takes can be myriad and obscure, and often with a tendency for destruction rather than construction.

Nightmare Mode...I Am Your Master

"Victory is mine. Victory is mine. Great day in the morning, people. Victory is mine!"
(Josh Lyman, The West Wing, S1 Ep2)

I have BEATEN the infamous Nightmare Mode of PS1 game, Parasite Eve 2. Yes, I have. Victory is, indeed, mine. I am truly awesome.

For many years - actually, three - it was my strongly held belief that I would never be able to complete this most arduous endeavour. I did not believe that I possessed the required skill and commitment to achieve such glorious excellence. I documented my Nightmare Mode ineptitude in an earlier post, and since that time, I have lived with the vanquished understanding that winning Nightmare Mode was a life experience that would never be mine. Until now, because now it IS my life experience; mine, mine, mine! And so I must, again, quote from fellow glory-seeker, Josh Lyman (S1, Ep2):

"I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in the land."

"Someone give me a river to forge, a serpent to slay."

And I did slay. There was much slaying. For the last 3 months, I have devoted myself to unbridled slayage. My mantra has been: slay, slay, slay! I slayed that damn Knight Golem in the Akropolis Tower. I slayed those floppy, marionette Brain Stingers (and their giant master, the Puppet Stinger). I slayed all the lackadaisical Mossbacks (who always seem kind of relieved when they die). I slayed those adorable jelly-blobs. I killed the absolute crap out of those really annoying Black Beetles. I slayed/exploded all the mutant, exploding babies. I kept slaying, up until, and including, my final battle with Eve. And Eve threw everything at me. Yes, she did. All her deadly, and quite noisy, spells; her crazy screen-wobble chant, her full body torpedoes, her multicoloured balls of pain, and finally, her slap-happy clones (pro-tip: kill the clones before they trap you in a 'slap-lock' - this is pretty much checkmate on Nightmare Mode). I faced everything Parasite Eve 2 - Nightmare Mode - could attack me with, and I won!!!

I am now a victorious person. An achiever. I can walk among society with a champion's demeanour. I can regale ordinary citizens with tales of my video game heroism. Nothing can stop me! Though, okay, sure, there is that whole "pride comes before a fall" business to consider, and I am feeling very prideful right now. So, I will enjoy and celebrate my greatness for as long as I can before I am devastatingly conquered by my next challenge and plunged into rabid ungreatness.

Along Came a Spider..

..and sat down beside the computer, almost.

Playing Spider Solitaire whilst being watched by actual spider (very meta):

This Very Important Blog Post was inspired by many, many hours spent playing Spider Solitaire, as well as by many, many hours spent not doing anything of 'substance'. It also owes a deep and enduring gratitude to the countless Daddy-Long-Legs spiders currently residing in my home who have worked - and continue to work - tirelessly crawling all over the place, into every nook and cranny, and not (so far) ending up in adverse locations, such as my cup of tea or my pyjamas.

Parasite Eve 2 as Allegory For Inequality

Let it NOT be said that these past few months of obsessive devotion to the playing of the Playstation games (as evidenced by recent blog postings) has been in vain. Or a waste of time. Or that, surely, I could find something more worthwhile to do with my time. I say, not so!

For, whilst I was embedded in manic hours of console madness, I discovered a remarkable revelation.

Indeed, it came to my attention, during the desperate throes of trying (unsuccessfully) to beat the Knight Golem in the Akropolis Tower in Nightmare Mode of Parasite Eve 2, that I was doomed from the start of the Nightmare Mode game. Doomed. And why was I so doomed? Because Nightmare Mode imposes a set of impossibly harsh preconditions upon the player, which are incredibly hard to overcome. In fact, you can't actually ever overcome them  - the enemies are always super strong and Aya (the player's character) is always super weak. As a result of the imposition of such, um, austerity measures (it's as though Aya were allowed but one gold coin to pay for necessities which cost, like, a gazillion gold coins), Aya is destined to die, die, DIE!

It is my contention, thus, that Parasite Eve 2 (and its multi-gameplay-mode system) provides a comprehensive parable/allegory - or parabellegory - for social, economic and cultural structures which allow inequality to flourish. [However, I do not intend to write a thesis about it. This blog post will (more than) suffice.]

Parasite Eve 2 has four unlockable modes of play (ie these modes can only be accessed after the player has completed Normal Mode). The four unlockable modes are: Replay/Bounty/Scavenger/Nightmare.

Replay Mode is like being born into a safe and wealthy family, living in a safe and well maintained neighbourhood, going to a safe and well funded school, having a safe and well paying job, and rarely being discriminated against or oppressed.

Here are the gameplay specifications for Replay Mode (mission level: easy):

The modes become progressively more difficult - mission levels: normal (Bounty), then hard (Scavenger):

Until the most evil, Nightmare (mission level: forget about it, aka very hard)(note: there is no exclamation mark at the end of the blurb - as there is for the other modes - not very encouraging):

Nightmare Mode is like being born into an unsafe and poor family, living in an unsafe and poorly maintained neighbourhood, going to an unsafe and poorly funded school, having an unsafe and poorly paying (and probably crappy) job, and frequently being discriminated against and oppressed.

I know which mode I would want to play/be born into.

For this blog post, I conducted primary research into the Parasite Eve 2 inequality parabellegory phenomenon. My methodology involved extensive interviewing with a regular Parasite Eve 2 player (aka me), with special attention to the intellectual, physical and emotional responses experienced whilst engaging with (aka playing) Parasite Eve 2. I have compared and contrasted these responses (via two insightful statements) with explicit regard to Replay and Nightmare Modes:

Statement 1: "I have just finished playing Replay Mode (again - I've played it 3 times now! it is awesome) and I had the best weapons and ammunition and health and all the asshole creatures got massively killed and I am great."

Statement 2: "I kept getting killed when I attempted to play Nightmare Mode and this sucks and I had crap weapons and ammunition and no health and I didn't have the energy to keep playing and I turned off the console and I went to bed and I am not great."

Nightmare Mode Beckons at Me

But its deadly invitation is not so readily heeded.

Having completed Scavenger Mode (Parasite Eve 2 ), I am now eligible to undertake the dastardly torture that is Nightmare Mode. (Nightmare Mode mantra: "You start off sick and things get worse in this most difficult mode").

HOWEVER, I don't think I'm gonna do Nightmare Mode. 'Cos it looks too frickin' hard. And I am no overachiever. Scavenger Mode was difficult but still (mostly) enjoyable. Nightmare Mode is just psychotic. And I haven't attempted Bounty Mode yet, which is actually unlocked before Scavenger Mode, but some (internet) people say it's harder than Scavenger Mode. So maybe I'll have a try at Bounty Mode.

Or maybe not, because I think I need to read some books and watch some films, and maybe even talk to some people, like I (sometimes) used to do before I pulled out the Playstation console. Playstation console has an uncanny ability to absorb my mind, body and soul.

But (and ignoring the previous paragraph), before I do anything else, I will be going back to Replay Mode (easy mode - extra items and awesome weapons, and Aya is much stronger - ie harder to kill) for some cathartic blasting of some of the asshole boss monsters who gave me hell in Scavenger Mode. In particular, I am looking forward to using the Hypervelocity gun (which I am now able to access having raised my level ranking by completing Scavenger Mode):

I will take especially great joy in using the Hypervelocity gun on the Puppet Stinger (aka the Giant Bowman). Here he is in Scavenger Mode, being an asshole:

Scavenger Mode Beckoned at Me

And, like a neo-mitochondrial moth to a flame, I heeded its parasitic call.

Scavenger Mode (Parasite Eve 2): This mode can be unlocked either by completing Bounty Mode or by obtaining above 69001 exp points on Replay or Normal modes. In Scavenger Mode decent weapons/ammunition and items are mostly unavailable or extremely expensive to purchase. Basically, most things are acquired by either finding them or after beating some enemies - hence, you are expected to scavenge. Also, you lose health points ALOT quicker in this mode (those adorable, flappy neo-mitochondrial moths can actually kill you here).

And, finishing Scavenger Mode unlocks Nightmare Mode!!! (Nightmare Mode combines the worst - hardest - aspects of Bounty and Scavenger modes for a raucous journey of getting killed lots - good times!).

The point I'm trying to make here, is that my Playstation addiction continues. Despite my belief that I was only going to 'have a look' at my old playstation games when I pulled them (and the PS console) out of the deepest darkest reaches of the wooden chest in my loungeroom, they are now (re) consuming me. However, in fairness to Parasite Eve 2 (and myself), I had not realized that I could unlock all these other modes after finishing the original game. In reality, when I packed this game away, 13 or so years ago, I had only completed a fraction of the gameplay it offered.

My brain, therefore, is currently devoted to Scavenger Mode battle strategies. I am honing my tactics and manoeuvres, testing various combinations of firepower, along with parasite energies (earth, wind, fire, water), with a goal to obtaining the best possible outcomes in each of the - progressively freaking harder - enemy configurations I must face. And, so far, I ALWAYS win (except for when I die - but then I can reload the game until I WIN).

Most importantly, playing Scavenger Mode is allowing me to actively avoid the real world, and any battles contained within the real world that I might encounter - and which, most likely, I would NOT win.

Seeking Solace in Tomb Raider

(So, kind of a rollicking, wild ride solace)

(Also, since I possess only playstation 1,  I've been solacing in old Tomb Raider - none of this new fangled, realistically rendered graphics technology for me; the tombs I'm raiding are polygon shaped)

I have much awe for Lara Croft (legendary adventurer and artefact collector of the Tomb Raider series); her unwavering, energetic devotion to the exploration of interesting and striking - and frequently dangerous - locations. (Also, unexpectedly dangerous - gorillas in the Monastery!). She never falters in the face of imminent death, probably due to her uncanny ability to re-animate from expiration after undergoing the mysterious process known as 'reload game'. She has incredible strength, stamina and gravity-defying gymnastics. I have never heard her use potty language, even when she catches on fire. And she has steely attitude.

(However, despite her almost supernatural capacity for maintaining grace under fire, Lara's serenity does, at times, elude her. She can be inclined to unceremonious bumping into walls, accompanied by guttural grunting, and she will let out blood-curdling screams whenever she (mostly) unintentionally plummets into cavernous depths and ravines. And when she's swimming, she has a tendency to position her bottom so it fills, and thus obscures, the screen.)

But I had not realized (until about a month ago) just how much these atmospheric games offer escapist comfort. (Comfort levels which are greatly increased by having cheat codes that allow unlimited ammo and health - though these won't save Lara when her enemy is a tricky set of jumps over cavernous depths and ravines; only incredible skill on the part of the console controller can do that).

I've found a Happy Place at Tomb Raider. An inner calm. I (as Lara) can wander Zen-like through snowy Tibet, searching for the Ice Palace (whilst carefully avoiding massive rolling snowballs, snow leopards and, of course, yeti). Or I can dive down to the bottom of the ocean and explore the tranquil metal-blue of the Wreck of the Maria Doria. There are also shadowy, not-quite-terrestrial worlds to encounter. And, most importantly, I can roam the ethereal ancient sands of Earth's caves and tombs, from Egypt to Peru.

And if anything or anyone gets in my way, I can blast them to the gods with my grenade pistol!

Here is a Flying Swordsman getting in my way on the magical Floating Islands (Tomb Raider 2):

And here are pieces of the Flying Swordsman after experiencing the 'magic' of my grenade pistol (note his disembodied sword at top of screen):

The Giant Pink Mutant Baby is Dead!

It has only taken me 13 years to beat the 2nd(!) last boss of Playstation game, Parasite Eve 2. Though in fairness to myself, for the majority of those 13 years I had discontinued playing PE2 (or any video games) in the belief that I would never be able to kill the hideous pink baby. But a restless spirit and a desire to kill fictional mutant babies have led me to triumph. Persistence, incredible skill, and advice from the internet, have paved the way for my glorious victory.
(Gameplay hint: When the creature's core opens keep shooting at the core with grenades, and keep maxing out Aya's health - blasts from the core are deadly).

I have documented my greatness below-

Giant pink mutant baby at beginning of battle:

The battle has been bravely fought and won. Victory (and Ringer's Solution) is mine:

Giant pink mutant baby is toast. Or, more correctly, it's a puddle (the white-pink area at bottom right of screen is what remains of the baby):

Now I just have to kill the super final boss, Parasite Eve... gah!...see you in another 13 years...