Saturday 24 July 2010

Winter Lethargy Has Filled Me With its Evil Naughtiness...

..., which means my brain has partially shut down in an effort to diffuse needed energy to the coldest parts of my body, ie everywhere, and I'm continually eating and sleeping and putting on extra jumpers (not all at once). Hence, I'm too distracted with keeping my body warm to write my usual, brilliant, blog entries. PLUS, I'm reading "The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism" by Naomi Klein (if Milton Friedman were still alive, I'd so kick his evil neo-liberalist ass) and "Crime and Punishment" by Mr D, which is requiring whatever's left of my brain energy.

Friday 16 July 2010

This Blog Deserves An "A"...

...however, it would probably get a B or C if it were being assessed by the killjoy teachers who marked my essays in high school - "Don't use 'I' in a formal essay" - pfft! The instructions were to DISCUSS; I often preface my discussions (formal or otherwise) with "I think" or "in my opinion" or "shut up and listen". For example: "In my opinion, Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov needed a shitload of editing to give it even a modicum of readability". See. I mean, this is only my opinion, it isn't gospel - is it so wrong for me to indicate as such? There are people (strange people, living in dark, dark caves of delusion) who would stridently disagree with my opinion on The Brothers Karamazov, who may even think that the novel could use more words (God forbid!). I believe they should preface their essays with "I think" or "In my opinion, Nicole is not only wrong, but she is also a raving idiot". But I digress...back to praising my blog (which is the point of this blog entry)...

I love my blog and it loves me. My blog's love is unconditional. My blog doesn't judge me. It doesn't lecture me if I use inappropriate language. It doesn't laugh at me if I misspell a word. It doesn't make snarky comments if I use incorrect grammar. It doesn't get all elitist if I experiment with my writing style (in fact, it encourages free form expression). And, most importantly, it doesn't grade me. There are no passes or fails with my blog; no ego-enhancing "A"s or ego-deflating "F"s. There is only the freedom to say whatever I like, however I like, without the fear that my blog privileges will be taken from me because I write verb-less sentences ...(well, unless I write incredibly offensive, verb-less sentences).

Sunday 11 July 2010

"There's No Verb In This Sentence!"

Recently, as I was clearing out extraneous material from the big, extraneous material containing, wooden chest in my lounge room, I came upon some of my prac reports from University. I had a bit of a peruse through them whilst remembering 'the good old days' and was ASTOUNDED to find, inscribed in the margin of one of my reports, in angry black ink, the words: There's no verb in this sentence! "Hah!", I thought. "No verb? My ass! (hahaha) I would never write a sentence without a...wait a minute...*reads sentence from prac report*...[which reads as: "Also retention of these groups in the products and decarbonylation (scheme 1)"]...*notices distinct lack of verb*..."

Okay, I admit, ONE time I wrote a verb-less sentence. Call the grammar police! Send me to command-of-the-English-language prison! Make me read "Grammar for Dummies"! I mean, it was a Science report - I got the Science right (mostly), isn't that the main thing? Is it sooooo important for Scientists to write coherent sentences? No way! Adequate, even expansive, communication skills are for the Arts; they can have their verbs and their adjectives (if they're feeling creative). But Science is all about the facts, it doesn't have time for meaningless distractions like cogent report writing.

But all of this is by-the-bye because I meant for that sentence to have no verb. Oh yeah. I was experimenting with Avant Garde Science (not to be confused with Fluffy Science), which allows for some degree of "lateral" report writing. Those Science Academics have no imagination! (Hmmm, must check the meaning of "contradiction".)

Tuesday 6 July 2010

Negative Thinking Will Be Corrected

Here are some thoughts I have when depression is giving me one of it's special cuddles:
  • I feel numb


  • I have no passion


  • I can’t seem to get even vaguely enthusiastic about anything


  • I only have enough energy for basic self-maintenance (eg. feeding and washing myself) - with the caveat that any self-maintenance occurs only AFTER I've fed Ms Willow Pussycat


  • I can’t commit to an occupation


  • I can't commit to anything


  • I struggle to connect with people


  • Often, people freak me out


  • Often, I freak me out


  • Sometimes, I think I was made wrong


  • I feel inadequate – I wish I were more adequate


  • I often believe I repel people


  • I feel most comfortable being alone…but I feel lonely

I wrote down this list a few weeks ago when, obviously, I was feeling kind of down. But, after writing it, I felt a lot better. And, reading it now, I disagree with most of it (except for the part where I freak me out – but that will never change, it’s just something I’ve learned to live with). It's a list of skewed perspectives, thoughts without realistic context. Basically, there's a whole lotta "glass half empty" going on in this list.

I’m putting the list on my blog so that I can refer to it next time depressive, negative thinking tries to get it's sleazy arms around me. My belief is that, by writing down, and then reading (and, especially, mulling over), these thoughts, I can diminish their power to make me feel bad. Consider, for example, the thought: "I often believe I repel people" - is this really such a bad thing? If I repel certain people, then they'll probably avoid me, sure. But, if these are people who, conversely, I'm repelled by, then I'll be actively avoiding them. Such mutual avoidance will increase the probability that we never interact with each other! An excellent result all-round. I think my whole "do I repel people" issue is only an issue when it involves people I don't want to repel. And I have a strong suspicion that I've been quite confused for quite awhile in some of my choices of people I "don't" want to repel - ie wanting to be liked by people who I don't actually have a connection with and probably wouldn't want to spend very much time with anyway......This paragraph seems to be veering into convoluted and unwieldy territory, hence I am now going to abandon it......

......In fact, this entire blog entry is beginning to delve into a den of rambling, to wallow in a cesspool of incoherent. I can feel my grasp of the succinct and pithy (try saying that with a lisp) slipping away from me......yep, there they go......byeeeeeee......

Thursday 1 July 2010

Radical Tax Plan

Here at Effulgent13, we (actually, I, but "we" sounds more impressive) aim to make this world a much better place, such that everyone has stuff they need and, even, stuff they want. I abhor greed (greed is NOT good, Gordon Fucking Gecko, greed is a big giant pain in the ass of humanity). A couple of weeks ago, I attacked greed in one of its most evil incarnations, that of Mining Bosses (aka "Greedy Fuckers" - see here). Well, this week, I'm extending that rant to all corporate bosses and other rich people. And, since I'm also a practical ranter, I'm proposing a new Tax Plan to deal with greed gone wild (I have a degree in Organic Chemistry, goddammit, I'm completely qualified to propose changes to the tax system). I'm hoping this Tax Plan will accomplish 2 main goals:

1) Redistribute wealth from the coffers of rich bastards into the coffers of poor bastards

2) Annoy the hell out of rich bastards

I think that once an individual accumulates personal wealth of a billion dollars, they should NOT be allowed to accumulate anymore. They should be cut off. And, if they continue to accumulate wealth (in whatever form: cash, assets, equity, dodgy businesses, larceny, vice, grand theft auto etc), they should be taxed at 100% for every dollar they earn above the one billion dollar mark. That money should then be given to the lowest income earners as a low income offset tax bonus. Obviously, and most importantly, this new tax will need a catchy title and acronym, which, thankfully, I've already thought of:

BIllionaires Tax: Equality for Misplaced Equity ( or BITE ME).