The Role of Eccentric Tenant goes to...

MEEEEE!!!

I'm very honoured to accept this challenging, but important, position. It's a role I think I've always subconsciously known would be mine, but given the marginalization and lack of glamour with which it is associated, I've always shunned it. But life is short and serenity is dubious (huh?) (well, it's these very kind of comments that won me the much avoided title of 'eccentric') and the experts say you should give in to what you are, or you'll be miserable (or something very similar). I think what really swayed me though, was not wanting to seem unfriendly towards my neighbours. Since I'm not very proficient at pretending to be normal, I felt that talking to my neighbours too much would alert them to my weirdness, so I have mostly tended to avoid my neighbours. But now I say: "weirdness be damned!" or actually "how's it going?", as I think greeting people with "weirdness be damned!" might be a little confronting, even for the most stoic.

I believe every block of flats should have at least one eccentric tenant (larger blocks can easily sustain 2 or 3). It's important not to confuse the eccentric tenant (or ET) with the annoying neighbour (or ANAL). The ET is mostly liked by the other tenants as she/he is actually a warm and cuddly person. There is, of course, the creepy ET, who is not at all warm or cuddly and it's best to minimize eye contact (or any contact) with this person. However, occasionally, the creepy ET can turn out to be a warm and cuddly ET (or, at least, a not-so-creepy ET or even a misunderstood ET). In one block of flats in which I lived, there was a man who would periodically stand on the balcony outside his flat and yell: "fucking cunt!". He didn't seem to be yelling at anyone specifically, his wrath seemed directed more at the universe in general - he mostly seemed to be looking toward the horizon, and/or possibly the sky, during a rant. One morning he was taken away by MICA paramedics and he never reappeared. I've never been sure which kind of ET he was.

So, I've made a start with being more friendly (and eccentric). Yesterday I spoke briefly to the 20-something identical twin sisters and their 10-year sister, with whom I share a corridor wall. They were all sunbaking in the back yard. They had their disobedient pug-dog with them who likes to run down the driveway - so I asked them to hold onto the dog while I reversed my car. I also tried to discern a way to tell the twins apart but was unsuccessful. Today I went out to the clothesline without my glasses on (I like to test my limitations, live on the edge - I managed to find the clothesline without bumping into it first). I was hoping to run into someone so I could tell them they looked blurry (I thought this would be a nicely eccentric thing to say), but sadly no-one came out. (Actually, I was really hoping to run into the lovely Adam, who is a little eccentric himself, but then I'm always hoping to run into the lovely Adam).