Last week this blog mentioned that I was working on maniacal plans (Banalities from my life). Since then there has been a barrage of interested mail from psychopaths all over the globe, wanting to know more about my maniacal plans. Unfortunately, I won’t be reprinting any of the letters – well…they’re pretty kooky…but not in a cuddly eccentric way, more in a I-want-to-eat-your-beating-heart-while-it’s-still-in-your-chest-cavity-while-I’m-wearing-my-dead-mother’s-favourite-dress way. And I’m hoping this blog might make it into the “1001 blogs you must read before you die” list, so I need to keep it at a PG-rating.
I do appreciate the effort made by the psychopaths in writing their letters – some didn’t have access to pens so chose to write in their own blood (at least I hope it was their blood) and some, apparently, didn’t have access to their hands (I’m not sure what they wrote with, maybe their feet, maybe someone else’s hand – perhaps it’s best not to think on this for too long) – but I’m not yet ready to publicly divulge my maniacal plans. I need to get everything ready before I start…negotiations.
To all the psychopaths who sent me letters…I’ll be in contact.
4 comments:
plans for world domination i see .. excellent .. when you own the world and show them your true slayer power, i hope you don't forget those who have shared pancakes and mcdonalds with you along the way. gemmas like me may need a roof over their heads when the new world is set. i promise to make lots of spag for the hungry ruler
Yes, world domination is hungry work, please bring spag (and some fish for Willow) and you may have a roof. If you also bring choc royals I'll give you some walls and a door.
And this is in my CD player!!
Maniacal Plan
That is no coincidence, Anonymous. The band "Maniacal Plan" are one of my minions. If you play the cd backwards you'll hear my evil message.
Just a word of caution - some of the early cd's didn't work properly and, instead of my evil message, they say: "eat more broccoli".
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