Christmas Cards

To anyone who recently received a Christmas card from me – Don’t Panic – I haven’t been overtaken by Christmas loving aliens. I still maintain a fervent anti-Christmas stance. It’s just that I was sent a bunch of Christmas cards painted by people who can’t use their hands (so they paint with their mouths or feet). There was also a sheet of paper with photos of the people, their names and a short biography (mostly they’d become quadriplegics after an accident). It seemed pretty legitimate and a lot of trouble to go to for a scam. So I figured it was genuine.

Which is all well and fine, except that I was left with a pile of evil, but nicely painted, Christmas cards, which made me very uncomfortable. But as I thought about chucking them in the recycle bin I was struck by a brilliant idea – I could send them to people. Crazy.

I haven’t written my true sentiments regarding Christmas on the cards out of respect for those of you with young children (and those of you who retain a child-like love of Christmas) but I think it’s important for people (especially family and friends) to know my true feelings. So here are the words that should have been on the cards: “Christmas Sux! Love, Nicole.”