I've Gone MAD with Christmas Festivity!

For so many years, I've steadfastly abhorred Christmas and its requisite, sadistic spirit of celebration. From the beginning of December until Boxing Day, I would be a seething mass of humbug. Christmas Day would often find me blind drunk before breakfast - having gotten up extra early to make sure I imbibed as much "Christmas Cheer" as possible, in order to get me through the Yuletide Terror. So it came as quite a shock to my person (aka me) to discover this in my lounge room:

Someone (aka me) decorated the wall heater in a frenzy of tinsel (turning off the pilot light first, for safety) and put cheerily wrapped presents underneath/in front of it. And look at all those Christmas cards.

Feliz Fucking Navidad!