Still, I think about him, and want to be with him. I don’t know a whole lot about him; only what he allows to people in general, but there is enough in this to attract me to him, so that I want to know more. But he is with someone else, and it is she who he allows in. The time he spends with her is the loneliest time for me. I theorize ways in which they are incompatible, such that they will eventually breakup. And maybe they will breakup, with or without my theories, but when? In 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years? And even if they were to break-up, there’s nothing to indicate that he would want to spend time with me. But – and, yes, I’m being less than gracious – being able to know that he is also alone would bring me some solace.
A solution to my predicament - at least one that doesn’t involve alchemist love potions - is to fall for someone else. Which, of course, is easier said than done. But I’m reasonably confident that this can happen (my history of lurv concurs), though it may not happen for a while. It usually takes sometime for me to let go of, and replace, my infatuations. And finding someone else is problematic. I’m not overly sociable, so I don’t generally meet lots of new people in the course of my days – plus, when I do meet new people, I need time to see how I feel about them. There is also the issue that there aren’t so many available people my age. And finally, and perhaps most importantly, it’s possible that my ways (endearingly eccentric!) are a little out of the range of normal – at least for the society of which I am a part – and so your more normal people aren’t so inclined towards the lovely me.
But, whatever, ‘cos I still really like him.
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