Paranoid

Being a weird loner myself, I find this bible quote interesting:

“Blessed are the weird loners: for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5)

Although some bibles say “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth”, but Aramaic is notorious for getting lost in translation. Or having multiple translations. Or having translations that suit an agenda (ooooh – fighting words – Effulgent13 is a little rebellious today).

I’m not entirely sure what any of this has to do with the title of this blog entry. Perhaps paranoia is a characteristic of weird loners and the meek. Call me crazy (or Nicole – which I actually prefer) but I think being paranoid is a sensible state of mind. It should be the default position for humans. We’re standing on shaky ground, literally. Forget about inheriting the earth. We need to beware of the earth. All of us. The weird loners, the meek, the sociable and the downright noisy attention-seeking showponies, we’re all in trouble.

The Earth (and its minions) is out to get us. The changing climate, greenhouse gases, melting glaciers – it’s all part of the earth’s cunning plan. It spent millions of years observing us, and our ancestors, analysing our nature, until it formed the perfect plan. Coal. It offered up its fossilized carbon, which it had been brewing since its Carboniferous days (3oo million years ago), knowing we would abuse it. We are fools!

(I wonder if the earth had other plans for its fossilized carbon, it's certainly put a lot of effort into creating it - or maybe the earth presciently knew that Pre-Cambrian single-celled organisms would eventually evolve into people, and has been planning our destruction for 600 million years - spooky.)

And who are the minions? Right-hand minion is the Moon. With its control of the tides, human sanity and werewolves (and some believe, menstrual cycles) – it wields immense power. Formed as part of the Earth, but violently separated during a crazed cosmic storm, it shares a mind with the Earth. It’s definitely in on the plan.

And the left-hand minion? This is difficult to assert. I’d always assumed it was the Sun. Or maybe Cats. Both powerful forces in the universe (just ask the ancient Egyptians). But possibly too powerful. The sun, with its ability to burn a human in one afternoon, could surely wipeout all humans with a wave of its fiery hand. And Cats, with their amazing powers of mind-control and 9 lives, could easily subvert the human race. Actually, they’ve kind of already done this, at least with a substantial proportion of the population – and I think they’re in collusion with dogs, and possibly fish (why do people keep fish as pets, they’re not cuddly, they don’t wee on the carpet – they’re not very fun). I believe the Sun and Cats have agendas which are different from, and possibly, in opposition to, that of the Earth.

But I’m beginning to wonder about Mars. Could this elusive planet be the left-hand minion? It might not share a mind with the Earth, but the Earth and Mars probably have a telepathic connection. They formed in the same particle mire. They played together as children. These are strong and lasting connections. Currently, Mars is seducing humans with its promise of hidden water, luring us with surface markings that hint at ancient water erosion. It wants us to come to it. Then it’s going to eat us. Tasty. (I think this would be plan B or sub-plan A – if people start leaving the Earth and heading to Mars, because of climate change, then it's dinner time for the red planet).


Some Pictures:

Earth:






The Moon:





Mars:





Mars after ingesting humanity: