Monday 31 August 2015

Willow vs The Computer

"How does this infernal contraption work? Perhaps if I just keep staring at it, the cat videos will appear."

Thursday 6 August 2015

The Driveway is Mine!

[Sub Heading: Driveway Party]

Mine, mine, ALL MINE!! In fact, I am officially declaring my driveway to be a 'driveway' rather than a 'shared driveway'. And I can do this because the annoying people who live next door, and with whom I have to share the driveway, will not be annoying me as I have killed them. Yeah! Actually, they have gone away on holiday (probably 'cos they were worried I was gonna kill them, hah!). And they haven't just gone away for a little bit, they've gone away for a month (assuming I overheard her correctly). So I will be having a driveway party every day for the next 4 weeks. And by 'driveway party' I mean that I will be enjoying not being yelled at in the driveway, being able to drive my car up and down the driveway without hindrance from her car, not having to avoid windows breaking onto the driveway (or possibly onto me), and not having to avoid stepping on broken glass left in the driveway from the broken window. I also won't have to listen to slamming doors or to them yelling at each other (though sometimes this can be entertaining), and I won't have to smell her stinky cigarette smoke or hear her whiny voice. For a whole month. Bliss.