Sunday 30 March 2014

Mystical Dome of Impenetrability

It is not understood, either by Scientists or Engineers or, indeed, Mystics, how the Mystical Dome's scaffolding is constructed or from what materials it is made. What is known, however, is that in order for such a contraption to assemble and to function, an urgent and rampant need for isolation from danger, real or perceived, is required.

When activated, the dome (or, in some cases, capsule) (or bubble) will completely surround a person (or, in some cases, an animal) (not that humans aren't also animals) (you know what I mean) (clarification: we are ALL animals!). The dome (I'm just gonna call it a 'dome' cos I like the word) (though its shape is probably quite indefinable, even abstract) (also, it's transparent) (so who the hell knows what its freaking shape is anyway)...The dome seems to act as a shield or barrier to proximate unpleasantness. Its capabilities appear to be almost exhaustive; it can prevent sunburn on high-UV days or keep out lightening and rain during a storm, it can block a speeding vehicle and prevent squishing or deflect a meteorite shower from performing a skull re-sculpture. Furthermore, the dome allows the 'wearer' to continue breathing unaided for extended periods; this may be due to either the dome being able to produce oxygen via some unexplained mechanism or that the dome's substance is selectively permeable (making the dome not entirely impenetrable).

Possibly even more astonishing than the dome's physical abilities, are its so-called 'psychological' abilities. As well as possessing a faculty for material shelter, the dome also displays a kind of ethereal empathy. The Obscure-Translucent-Shelter-Psyche-Phenomenon, as it is known in academic circles, manifests as a capacity for the dome to latch onto, and sync with, the mental state of the sentient being (or, in some cases, bean) which the dome has enshrouded. This serves both to provide a generalized solace for the sentient being (SB), as well as to isolate the SB from any volatile emotional vagaries (VEV) to which the SB may be subjected (unless the SB has willingly chosen to be under the thrall of VEV). Experimental data has shown that an SB experiencing the influence of a mystical dome will display a biochemistry profile consistent with a state of tranquillity.

Until the discovery of the mystical dome, conventional wisdom had generally dictated that a suit of armour and a heart of stone were necessary to protect an SB from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, but now it seems that this is not strictly the case. Certainly it is true that "armour and stonehearts" (as the saying goes) have proven to be very effective protection, but this method has been associated with some negative side effects: limited mobility, chaffing, and elevated levels of social disconnection. Moreover, anecdotal evidence indicates that this method may have a tendency to attract more slings and arrows than would normally be expected from ordinary outrageous fortune (perhaps the slings and arrows are attracted to the shiny of the metal armour).

So, if a requirement for shelter becomes apparent, and a mystical dome is potentially manifestable, then evidence suggests that the mystical dome method, with its many advantages, is the way to go.