Friday 30 November 2012

The New POSITIVE Thinking

Increasingly, it seems imperative that I endeavour to be less cynical and negative, lest the black hole of doom swallows my soul. So, uh, I guess I'll have to focus on the positive:
  • It's nice that I don't have a peanut allergy, as I love to eat peanut butter.
  • Being myopic means I have to wear glasses, which protects my eyes from flying shrapnel.
  • Possum poo all over the driveway means the possums are thriving.
  • Something about rainbows.
  • And snowflakes on kittens.
Kill me now.

Well, that didn't last long.

Hello, black hole of doom!

Actually, it's quite comfy here, in the black hole of doom.
There's plenty of room, in the black hole of doom.
It's not really a tomb, the black hole of doom.
It's more like a womb, the black hole of doom.

Friday 9 November 2012

"THERE'S NOBODY LEFT! I'M ALL ALONE!"

The song 29/31 (see clip below) - which contrasts the experiences of the same woman at two different ages, 29 & 31 - by legendary musical duo, Garfunkel and Oates, speaks to my inner hysterical childless spinster. And she, in turn, is hysterically amused.


Certainly, at times, in my murky clucky younger days (somewhere under 40), I would fret about my 'shrinking ovaries' and lack of partner, and wonder if, maybe, I should, like, do something about it. Until, suddenly, or more correctly, eventually, I turned 40 and any pre-existing cluckiness quickly dissipated. But there were definitely moments of screaming anguish, especially as those around me continued to partner up and fall pregnant. And in recent times, despite being a mostly comfortably solitary person, I have had yearnings for companionship. So, occasionally, much like Garfunkel (31), I have felt an almost overwhelming urge to yowl into the existential void: THERE'S NOBODY LEFT! I'M ALL ALONE!